I have a deep desire right now to travel and get out and see what there is to be seen. I can hardly stand myself being still and in one place. Maybe it is a mid-life crisis of sorts but instead of spending our money on a new stove-top and a car, things we desperately need, I would rather get in our car that I love so much and drive. For days. Or weeks. Explore, adventure, go, do. And photograph it all. I wouldn't care if there was another human to be seen or if I was all alone but I feel the need to propel myself forward after being stagnant for far too long. And that stagnant part...all my own doing, my own fault.
After one terrible morning of getting everyone ready for school I felt that choking feeling; that suffocating feeling. I had to get out of the house and away form the computer or I literally thought I would fall apart at my seams. I thought my skin might rip from me wanting out of myself.
So, I drove up.
There is snow on the local mountains that will disappear within 48 hours. A new winter heat wave is upon us in Southern California. I am unhappy about that. I read a quote the other day to the effect of:
It is only through a harsh winter that we can appreciate the spring. That is a very rough paraphrase. Anyway, I really, really really want to experience winter first so I can appreciate spring and summer. Because right now it feels like the last twelve months have been spring, summer, spring, summer.
But, I digress.
I drove up. I zig zagged until I got above the houses and shopping centers and cars and I breathed in the open air. The sound of brittle leaves blowing in the powerful breeze and the first melting snow rushing over rocks and the extreme, beautiful silence...it filled my lungs like a balloon about to explode. And I could breathe again.
. peace .