08 September 2015

Note To Self

Reflecting back on the last 30 days has me a little emotional.  I made a promise to myself.  A promise to work on my health and fitness.  I've been working hard, staying focused, forgiving of myself for past mistakes, and looking forward to how I deserve to live my life.  Now, some might scoff at just a month but this is the first time in a VERY long time in which I made myself a promise and kept it.  I am worth keeping that promise.  That means I'm on the road to trusting myself again and knowing that I deserve better than what I've been giving myself.

Mothers are inherently selfless to some extent. That sort of comes with the territory.  So when I had to turn the focus slightly away from my family and onto myself to give me the best chance of sticking to my fitness and meal plan, I allowed myself that without guilt.  That has been a huge step for me.  My family hasn't suffered during this time, instead my kids learned that nutrition and exercise are a priority.  I think that's an amazing lesson to teach my two little girls.  

. . . . . . .

I hope you chose to do something for yourself.  You are worth it and you deserve it.  

xo, peace.

05 September 2015

Day Off

Let's be honest, as a mom you really don't get days off.  But...I've declared today my day off!  

We woke up way too early to see my husband off for a backpacking trip.  Then, I fed my children freshly baked cinnamon rolls that my older daughter baked.  I binge watched Hell on Wheels on Netflix and my children are at a friend's house.  Usually, I would feel so lazy but not today.  I earned this day off.  I worked hard all week (although you'd never know it by looking at my messy house) and I needed one day of mindless downtime.

I think it's good for the soul.  Sometimes I need to recharge by laying back and straight up chilling.  I need to eat almond butter banana toast for breakfast because it takes 3 minutes to make.  I need a rest day from working out.  To stay in my pjs until noon.  Have my puppy dog sleeping on my lap.  Have my girls play with their friends.  And neglect the dishes until dinner time.

This day of downtime is what I need to be able to stay on track for the coming weeks.  It's good for me and for my family. 

Do you take time to intentionally recharge?

xo, peace.

01 September 2015

A Little Spark

I'm always amazed by the confidence children have.  It is a beautiful thing.  Yes, we want them to be humble but I think we should let that crazy over-confidence live in them as long as possible.  Let them be exactly who they know they are.  The devastating tragedy is that the world will take it from them all-too-soon.

When does that happen exactly?  At what point in adolescence do we start thinking we aren't good, intelligent, beautiful, strong...enough?  I can't pinpoint the time in my life when my self-confidence started to wane.  Can you?  All I know is that in most people it does eventually happen.  Being a mother, that makes me incredibly sad.  I spend so much time making sure my girls know they are beautiful and strong and I over emphasize the need to be kind even when you think someone doesn't deserve kindness (although I lack severely in that department).

My youngest is still at the age where she shines and rarely lets anyone dim her light.  What a little role model for me.  My older daughter still has moments where I can see her confidence shining through and I almost get teary-eyed over it.  

It has been a really long time since I haven't felt judged or self conscious for just being authentically, 100% me.  That must be what total freedom feels like.  I want that back so badly.  I have been really focused on health and with that has come some new-found confidence.  A little spark has returned.  I'm praying that it becomes a full blown shining light, just like the one my little girl radiates.

xo, peace.

26 August 2015

My Gig

For the past few weeks I've been committed to eating super healthy (more veggies than a vegetarian farmer) and working out at a local bootcamp class.  After each successful week I reward myself with a non-food treat.  Yes, just like a two year old!  

My reward from last week was seeing a movie all by myself.  In my twenties, I would have thought no date for a movie was the end of the world.  Now I embrace it like a mini vacation.  I digress.  I saw "Ricki and The Flash".  The movie was sweet.  I am a sucker for Rick Springfield, still.  Meryl generally can do no wrong.  It was a movie about the relationship between parent and child, which I tend to always relate to seeing as how I am still trying to figure out how to be a good parent ten years later. 

The one line in the movie that hit me straight in the heart was from Rick Springfield's character to Meryl's "Ricki", "It isn't our children's job to love us but it IS our job to love them."


I complain to myself all the time that this parenting gig is such a thankless job.  Why don't they understand the sacrifices we, as parents, make to make them happy?  Apparently, I expect my kids to rationalize like a 30-year-old philosophy major.  I never even chose to look at it from the angle that they did not ask to be my children, but I absolutely asked (prayed) to be their mother.  It's my gig.  It's a tough job (that's a given) but it's my job.  It is my privilege.

08 February 2015

Any Winter

It is February 8 at 4:45pm and 75° out.  As much as I wish for a real winter and to feel the cold snowy air bite my skin, I fully appreciate the mild breeze sweeping through the open windows grazing my hair.  

It is the most peaceful place, sitting in front of an open window on a mild day.  I try to remember the fresh smell and the smooth feeling it leaves on my skin for the times when it is too blazing hot to open windows.  Most of our “winter” last year was too blazing hot and I fear the same for this year’s remaining winter and approaching spring.  We live in the mildest climate in the world I think, so ultimatelyI'm grateful for any kind of winter I'm given.  :)

. peace .