17 August 2016

First Day, 2016

First day of 3rd & 6th

I allllllmost lost it this morning.  The first day of school.  With Bug going off to 6th grade, she's once again blazing the trial.  She's been the first to do all the firsts.  She is so brave.  She never cries on the first day, it's always me.  I feel the anxiety of all this unknowns for her...maybe in hopes that she won't have to feel them.  Today reminded me a little of her first day of kindergarten with all the nerves (although I didn't sob like I did back then!). 

Going into jr. high on her school campus is a little different because she's on the same campus in K-8, 6-8 is just on the other side of the school from elementary.  It's known as Junior Academy and she's been looking forward to/fearing it since 4th grade.  It is something brand new, unknown, exciting, and thrilling.  There are so many expectations that she's still unsure of and that can be nerve-racking.  Even though she's been with most of the kids all along, it's a big school.  I think I feel her vibe so strongly because she is me when I was her age.  As much as she hates (and will deny) it, we are a carbon copy.

She saw one of her good friends before school this morning and a teacher was giving her friend a pep talk.  Bug could tell that her friend was so nervous and she said that she was worried about her friend because people don't always treat her friend well.  That compassion for her friend was what made me almost lose it.  I had to choke back the tears.  As scared as she was for herself and this new experience, she was more concerned for her friend.  I loved that.

I want to save her from the nerves, anxiety, and heartache that I know is inevitable, but that is silly.  I know that.  Bug is going to be amazing over the next three years of jr. high.  I have no doubt.

My little Munch started third grade.  She was a little nervous for today but she's known her teacher since Bug was in 3rd grade.  That makes things a little easier on her.  She is so easy-going and has really never met a stranger.  She makes friends of all ages wherever she goes.  She's social and crazy and often has an inappropriate sense of humor (probably her parents' fault!!).  She's going to kill it in third grade!

05 January 2016

Oh, Glorious Rain

I love the rain.  Glorious rain.
I also live in Southern California.  We rarely get rain and that's probably why I romanticize it!

When it drizzles here it is declared "STORM WATCH 2016"!  They are predicting a pretty kick ass El Nino here and it is about to hit (according the the Million Gigawatt Doppler Radar thingy on the news).  We need it.  Green grass is non-existent, lakes have dried up, crops are feeling the hurt.  Although, our Day Lilies aren't feeling a thing.  They are dry as a bone and greener than ever!  Who knew?  All the predicted rain will be pretty serious for some local burn areas so all kidding aside for those people.  I hope they will be ok.

I know I've complained a lot about our waaaay extended summer on here and on IG in the past but I've been so happy about the cool weather we've had since about a week before Christmas.  In the sixties everyday and even the fifties on colder days!  LOVE IT!!  I woke up to rain this morning and like a little kid I had to go outside immediately!  It's not all that cold (about 56 degrees) but I'm hoping for colder days ahead.  I want to get some use out of my winter clothes this year...it's been awhile.


08 September 2015

Note To Self

Reflecting back on the last 30 days has me a little emotional.  I made a promise to myself.  A promise to work on my health and fitness.  I've been working hard, staying focused, forgiving of myself for past mistakes, and looking forward to how I deserve to live my life.  Now, some might scoff at just a month but this is the first time in a VERY long time in which I made myself a promise and kept it.  I am worth keeping that promise.  That means I'm on the road to trusting myself again and knowing that I deserve better than what I've been giving myself.

Mothers are inherently selfless to some extent. That sort of comes with the territory.  So when I had to turn the focus slightly away from my family and onto myself to give me the best chance of sticking to my fitness and meal plan, I allowed myself that without guilt.  That has been a huge step for me.  My family hasn't suffered during this time, instead my kids learned that nutrition and exercise are a priority.  I think that's an amazing lesson to teach my two little girls.  

. . . . . . .

I hope you chose to do something for yourself.  You are worth it and you deserve it.  

xo, peace.

05 September 2015

Day Off

Let's be honest, as a mom you really don't get days off.  But...I've declared today my day off!  

We woke up way too early to see my husband off for a backpacking trip.  Then, I fed my children freshly baked cinnamon rolls that my older daughter baked.  I binge watched Hell on Wheels on Netflix and my children are at a friend's house.  Usually, I would feel so lazy but not today.  I earned this day off.  I worked hard all week (although you'd never know it by looking at my messy house) and I needed one day of mindless downtime.

I think it's good for the soul.  Sometimes I need to recharge by laying back and straight up chilling.  I need to eat almond butter banana toast for breakfast because it takes 3 minutes to make.  I need a rest day from working out.  To stay in my pjs until noon.  Have my puppy dog sleeping on my lap.  Have my girls play with their friends.  And neglect the dishes until dinner time.

This day of downtime is what I need to be able to stay on track for the coming weeks.  It's good for me and for my family. 

Do you take time to intentionally recharge?

xo, peace.

01 September 2015

A Little Spark

I'm always amazed by the confidence children have.  It is a beautiful thing.  Yes, we want them to be humble but I think we should let that crazy over-confidence live in them as long as possible.  Let them be exactly who they know they are.  The devastating tragedy is that the world will take it from them all-too-soon.

When does that happen exactly?  At what point in adolescence do we start thinking we aren't good, intelligent, beautiful, strong...enough?  I can't pinpoint the time in my life when my self-confidence started to wane.  Can you?  All I know is that in most people it does eventually happen.  Being a mother, that makes me incredibly sad.  I spend so much time making sure my girls know they are beautiful and strong and I over emphasize the need to be kind even when you think someone doesn't deserve kindness (although I lack severely in that department).

My youngest is still at the age where she shines and rarely lets anyone dim her light.  What a little role model for me.  My older daughter still has moments where I can see her confidence shining through and I almost get teary-eyed over it.  

It has been a really long time since I haven't felt judged or self conscious for just being authentically, 100% me.  That must be what total freedom feels like.  I want that back so badly.  I have been really focused on health and with that has come some new-found confidence.  A little spark has returned.  I'm praying that it becomes a full blown shining light, just like the one my little girl radiates.

xo, peace.